Being Highly Gifted Isn’t Always a Gift

Loneliness and Your Rainforest Mind

photo by streetwindy, unsplash

Was this you? At age 4, you made a plan to help "the starving children in Mogadishu" and to become a peace keeper. At 5, you made a book about deforestation and the poaching of animals with reused cardboard and magazines. At age 11, you petitioned to save the elephants of Thailand and at age 15, you won a contest with your essay on human trafficking. People told you that you worried too much for such a young child or they laughed at your passion, but you were determined to speak out and you did not understand why this was seen as so unusual.

At 29, you are still struggling with being an outlier and with how to take action in a world that feels so broken. Your family continues to dismiss your striving as unrealistic or unnecessary. These days you avoid talking with them but you have yet to find a place to belong or a clan of like minds.

You may have found one or more career paths that feed some of your intellectual curiosity for a while or provide for your financial security but do not nourish your soul. Or when you master a job's requirements in the first week, you find your coworkers do not respond with appreciation; while you remain frustrated and unfulfilled. What is often the experience of the highly (exceptionally, profoundly) gifted is that you can be successful and high achieving in a variety of fields.

Dare I say, at everything you try.

Perhaps you learned to play several musical instruments without the usual hours of practice. And you are now on your fifth language. And you remodeled your home without any training or schooling. And you diagnosed your own chronic illness when all of the doctors were stymied. You taught yourself quilting, gourmet cooking, fly tying, stock trading, and chess, in your spare time.

You may be really good at pretending you are not so good at things. Or apologizing for your abilities and accomplishments. Or finding a way to build up the other person and minimize your capacities. I wonder if you have memories of teachers telling you to "put your hand down and let others have a turn." Feeling hurt, because your enthusiasm was misinterpreted, you experienced bullying, jealousy, and spiteful comments from peers. Sometimes from teachers. You were told to spend your time helping your classmates and you felt guilty because you wanted to be kind but this was torture, day after day after day.

All you ever wanted was to share your fascination with dark energy and the latest episode of the documentary Planet Earth with someone. Anyone.

This is such a tricky topic. Who is going to commiserate with you? Who can you talk with about this struggle? I am not even sure how to write about it without sounding whiney, complaining, and ungrateful. Right? Gratitude, of course, is important. And, if you had narcissistic parents, you might be extra cautious about acknowledging your strengths and talents.

But it is a thing. A big thing. You and I know it.

And even if no one else notices or cares right now, the more you understand this about yourself, you will be better able to find others who get you. Who are like you. And, as your passion to make a difference still shines, as you still ache for the elephants, know that your beingness nourishes us all.

You being you is what this planet needs.

(Note: A version of this post was originally published on my blog Your Rainforest Mind)