Do You Often Feel Responsible for Everything and Everyone Until the End of Time?
Even Rainforest-minded (Gifted) Folks Have Limits
If someone asks you for help, and you have the skills that they need, are you always supposed to say yes to them?
If someone asks you for help, and you have the skills that they need and you say no, should you feel utterly and totally guilty for the rest of your life?
If your intuition is often accurate, and you pick up information about someone, are you responsible for telling that person what you suspect is true about them?
If you can see into someone’s wounded soul and you have compassion for them, but in everyday life they’re toxic, manipulating creeps, do you have to keep being their friend?
There are many other questions, of course. But the above questions are in a particular category. It Is: If I’m gifted, I must be responsible for using my gifts to the fullest capacity possible all of the time.
That category.
You’ve probably heard this all of your life. From relatives, teachers, religious leaders, and yourself. And I get it. It makes sense that you should develop your gifts; that you want to be of service. That you feel a drive to make a difference. To use your superpowers for good.
It’s why I write this Substack. I’m driven to be of service to you. So that you can rediscover your strength and your confidence, and walk your many paths to self-actualization, human evolution, and planetary healing.
But there are limits.
Yes, even you. have. limits.
For example:
You have a body that you must take care of. You actually need to sleep. Your sensitivity, empathy, and intuition need to be protected and nourished. There’s only so much time.
If you grew up in a chainsaw family, you’ll have a young child part who learned that they had to be perfect or risk abandonment or annihilation. That child will need your attention, understanding, and love.
And here are some other things that you may need to learn:
You’ll want to learn the difference between obsession with and excitement over a new project that is so very intellectually stimulating that you forget to eat or bathe for days on end.
Versus–
When you’re responding to just one more email from your clamoring friend or coworker who just has one last teensy weensy request: that you design, write, and print the programs for their long lost fourth cousin’s memorial gathering and you edit the eulogy and order the flowers after you bake their nephew’s favorite cheesecake and don’t forget that it has to be gluten-free and bring your violin to the service just in case… so that you don’t have time to eat or bathe for days on end.
See the difference?
Not only that.
You’ll want to learn that you can’t possibly say yes to every request that you get, even if you could do it faster and better than anyone else available. Just because you are able to do it, doesn’t mean you have to. It would be impossible to actually do everything that you can do. You will have to say no some of the time.
You’ll want to learn that you have a right to select your friends carefully. If you find yourself doing all of the listening and supporting, you may need to say bye-bye. If you always feel drained or weird after visiting, bid them adieu.
You may have highly developed intuitive abilities. This is particularly tricky. When do you share what you know? How do you protect yourself from people with terrible boundaries who will never get enough no matter how much you give? Use that intuition of yours to know when and how much to share.
Do you hear me?
Sure. You will likely want to create a life of meaning, purpose, and service. You may even be heading toward self-actualization, human evolution, and planetary healing, as we speak.
Just remember, even though you are gifted, you’re not responsible for everyone and everything until the end of time.
I mean it.



Learning to finally say "no" once societal pressures encroach is an enormous accomplishment. Need to reimagine that two-year-old inside of all of us. The one who can clearly say what they feel without guilt.
This struck home right now. Just this week, I have been journaling to explore when to help and when to tell myself that’s not my job. Even when people unload to me. I can listen and empathize, but that doesn’t mean take on the task of solving. Thanks for the reminders.